50 & Holding

The trials, tribulations and unexpected joys of being 50+

A Bout with The Gout…and it’s winning..for now July 20, 2009

Filed under: health — assistingu1st @ 1:53 am
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I have come down with  The Gout.  That’s what they called it when I was a kid.  I  remember hearing people say, “Grandma got the gout”.  Even then I knew it was such a bad mamma jamma that it had its own title – THE  GOUT.

As a kid I never knew what it was, but I knew it sounded way serious.  Well now that I’m fifty and holding I sure as hell know what The Gout is and it is definitely a worthy opponent.  As a matter of fact, right now it is kicking my butt.

Two years ago I woke up in the middle of the night with a deep persistent, throbbing pain in my big toe on the right foot.  It hurt so bad that I couldn’t even stand to touch it.  After  a couple days of being in excruciating pain, hobbling around on one foot and hoping it would go away, I finally took myself to the doctor.  She told me that  she suspected that I had gout.  I’m thinking, I can’t have gout, that’s what old people get”.  She went on to explain  about uric acid levels and that mine were quite high, but at this time I’m still a little confused as to what the hell gout really is.  After doing some Internet research, I found out that gout is actually a form of arthritis.  Hell just what I need – arthritis – another sign of my seemingly rapid descent into senior citizenship.

Now this lastest attack has lasted over five days.  I can’t walk, I can’t sleep, and I am barely getting around.  I’ve been taking all the prescribed medication – colchicine and indomethacine, but they are not helping.  Now it’s time to try some natural remedies to see if they can help.  I’ve been hearing that organic apple cider vinegar relieves the pain and helps in stopping recurrent attacks.  At this point they certainly can’t hurt.  The Gout may be winning this battle, but I’ll be damned  if it wins the war.


In the Words of Bernie Mac….. March 30, 2009

Filed under: family,Parenting — assistingu1st @ 12:57 am
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Bust them in the head until the white meat shows.  Those were the funny words of comedian Bernie Mac talking about what parents should do to kids.  He must have had my kid in mine when he said that.   As the parent of a 16 year old, I think of his humorous advice often and bust out laughing.  Sometimes to keep from screaming, but definitely laughing.  Now that I am a 50+ parent, I find that I am at loss of words when dealing with my kid.  Well, not really at a loss of words, more like a loss of polite words.  Most times she just makes me want to scream.  Or as Marvin Gaye said, she “make me want to holler and throw up both my hands”.  I remember when she was just 2 or 3 years old, my mother looked at her and said, “That’s the one. The other two (My oldest daughter and son) did not give you any problems, but this one is going to be the one” .  Boy did my mother ever tell the truth or now that I think about it, she might have jinxed me as well.   This kid definitely is keeping me on my toes.  Problem is my toes at 50+ are not what they used to be.  Over the last year or so, I seem to be really feeling my age.  You know I keep hearing that 50 is supposed to be the new 40 – Yeah right.  Tell my bad knee and my poor eye sight that.  Anyway, I haven’t busted my kid in the  head yet, probably because I can’t reach that high anymore.