50 & Holding

The trials, tribulations and unexpected joys of being 50+

Nobody Knows Who I Am July 9, 2014

Filed under: aging,life,love,sex — assistingu1st @ 1:34 pm

Nobody knows who I am. I heard that line in a movie tonight with Harrison Ford. He had just started an affair with a woman in her forties. Just before they made love, she looked at him and said “nobody knows who I am”. I feel like that – a lot. Nobody knows who I am – not my husband. Not my kids. Sometimes not even me. I’ve been in a marriage for over 35 years and still nobody knows who I am. I got married when I was 17 and I’m still married to the same man. After going through all kinds of hell with him, now he’s only interested in what interest him. And unfortunately I’m not what he’s interested in. Oh we still have sex 2 or 3 times a month with my body on autopilot reaching orgasm like clockwork. I know some women would be grateful for that, but I’m not. It’s so routine…no excitement, barely any foreplay. Just me spreading my legs and bingo, bango, I come. It’s so predictable! But that’s not what I wanted to talk about – not yet.

I look at myself in the mirror and nobody knows who I am, and sometimes that includes me. I haven’t figured it out yet. What do i want? I want to be married, just not the marriage I’ve got. How does a woman 50 & holding continue to feel vital and alive? I’m not ready for the red hat society and I can’t quite drop it like its hot. But I’m still vital with a lot to give. I am still all woman – 50 & Holding.


Friends Forever July 4, 2010

Filed under: aging,friendship,life,love,Uncategorized — assistingu1st @ 2:13 pm
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Have you noticed that the older you get, the harder it is to make friends.  Oh, you have lots of acquaintances that weave in and out of your life.  But chances are, the friends you’ve had since you were a kid or a teenager, are the ones you call your friends today.

My best friend is Lynette.  I have known her since we were young and hot and you couldn’t tell us a thing! I spent the day with her recently and we reminisced about some of the crazy things we used to do.  We are both a lot calmer (I guess that’s cause we’re older) these days, but we still get into some mischief every now and then.

Over the years Lynette has lived in different cities other than Detroit.  At times, we may have only seen each other once or twice a year.  Sometimes, not even that.  She is the type of friend that you don’t  have to hold her hand and babysit.  You know how some friends have a fit if you don’t call them everyday.  But Lynette is not like that and neither am I.  Actually I prefer that we don’t talk everyday and she understands this.   When we do talk, it’s like it was yesterday and we just pick up right where we left off.

Another reason Lynette and I have been friends for almost 30 years, is that we genuinely like each other.  You know how you hear “so-called girlfriends” talk about each other behind their backs and refer to their “friend” as that bitch under their breath.  Not me and Lynette.  We have never infringed upon each other in any way.  Our criticisms are few and we just accept each other as we are.  Friendship with Lynette is easy because she is easygoing and on the whole, so am I.  She is like the sister I never had.  And I have a sister, but we are not that close due to her crazy husband.  But that’s another story.

Bottom line is I love Lynette and our friendship! Have you told your best friend how much they mean to you.  If not, do it today.  Their friendship is precious and can last forever!