Bust them in the head until the white meat shows. Those were the funny words of comedian Bernie Mac talking about what parents should do to kids. He must have had my kid in mine when he said that. As the parent of a 16 year old, I think of his humorous advice often and bust out laughing. Sometimes to keep from screaming, but definitely laughing. Now that I am a 50+ parent, I find that I am at loss of words when dealing with my kid. Well, not really at a loss of words, more like a loss of polite words. Most times she just makes me want to scream. Or as Marvin Gaye said, she “make me want to holler and throw up both my hands”. I remember when she was just 2 or 3 years old, my mother looked at her and said, “That’s the one. The other two (My oldest daughter and son) did not give you any problems, but this one is going to be the one” . Boy did my mother ever tell the truth or now that I think about it, she might have jinxed me as well. This kid definitely is keeping me on my toes. Problem is my toes at 50+ are not what they used to be. Over the last year or so, I seem to be really feeling my age. You know I keep hearing that 50 is supposed to be the new 40 – Yeah right. Tell my bad knee and my poor eye sight that. Anyway, I haven’t busted my kid in the head yet, probably because I can’t reach that high anymore.
Betcha Can’t Eat Just One June 30, 2008
I LOVE potato chips and anyone who really knows me, knows I love potato chips too! But lately they don’t love me. They are testament to my every burgeoning waistline. I’ve finally come to realize that at 50+, I can’t continue to eat like I did in my teens, 20’s, 30’s or even my 40’s .
As early as I can remember, I’ve had a love affair with the sweet/salty syndrome. You know, eat something salty and then eat something sweet or vice versa. The other day I was talking to a girlfriend and I suddenly remembered that I always ate potato chips and then a candy bar or cupcake. I told her that when I was a little girl and my mother or father gave me 25 cents, I would go to the corner store and buy a bag of Lays potato chips and a candy bar – more often than not it would be a Mr. Goodbar, or an Old Henry and sometimes a Payday. You know, back in the day 25 cents bought a lot. Anyway, it seems I even liked the sweet and the salt in my candy bar.
But now that I’ve gotten older some of my bad eating habits still persist and that ain’t necessarily good for me. Don’t get me wrong, I cook quite a bit from all of the food groups; going 
to the fruit market once a week to stock up on fresh fruits and vegtables. I love the Food Network – trying out a lot of the dishes. I really like the Barefoot Contessa, Everyday Italian, Paula Deen, etc, but I still have a thing for junk food – mainly potato chips. My favorite ones are Lays. When they came up with the “Betcha Can’t Eat Just One” slogan, they must have knew me by name. I absolutely love them! I keep telling myself that I need to grow up and eat like an adult, but damn, a day without a potato chips is like a day without sunshine! I don’t even take the bet, cause I can’t eat just one and don’t want to.
Going Thru The Change… Hoping to Come Thru Sane June 26, 2008
The other day I was listening to a popular local radio show that featured an “expert” gynecologist talking about menopause. What struck me about her was that she seemed to spouting the same medical techno babble that you would expect from an uninformed man. Women were calling in describing the different symptoms they were experiencing. This so-called expert was shooting them down left and right. One of the symptoms were those dreaded “hot flashes”. You know, those “private summers” or “power surges” that for some seemed to be emanating from their legs 
up. This “expert” said it was “physiologically impossible”. I really hate it when a doctor or anyone else for that matter just about calls you crazy when you are trying to describe what your body is experiencing. There are a few things that can trigger a hot flash. For me, if I get really ticked off about something, it can trigger one. So you can imagine by listening to this doctor I was literally “fuming”. Also I discovered that wine is a trigger. Other women reported that “sweets” such as chocolate triggered a hot flash. Wow, bummer!
Anyway, the last caller in the segment asked if there was something that could be done about the weight she was gaining around the middle. This so-called expert told her to watch what she was putting in her mouth – that there were good carbs and bad carbs. The caller sounded bewildered and slightly frustrated. This doctor was a complete idiot!! By this time I was totally infuriated!!! This doctor obviously knew nothing about menopause other than what she had read in some outdated medical book.
If you are Going Thru the Change – Fear Not! You can get to the light at the end of the tunnel. First, you have got to research and read for yourself. Most doctors know very little about menopause. Much of their time was spent learning about your child-bearing years and they know very little about the last half of a woman’s life. In my opinion, a caring doctor would never discount what symptoms a patient is describing. If you say your legs are hot, than by golly you got hot legs! (Remember Rod Stewart’s song “Hot Leg”, anyway I digress.) Secondly, most women experience weight gain around their middles. During menopause estrogen levels decrease significantly. The fat cells in the abdomen most resemble estrogen cells, thus the reason for the ever-increasing middle. It has very little to do with good carbs, bad carbs. If only it was that simple. Thirdly, check out the miracle of adding soy to your diet. Lots of stuff on the Internet about – check it out. I’m going thru the menopause tunnel, but I do see the light!
